Male rape

Sudies show that rape is about domination, aggression and gaining control. In ancient times, a victorious warrior would rape his defeated opponent to display his total control over him. It was believed that the raped warrior would then be less of a man. In interviews with rapists, it was found that generally they don’t have a preference towards any specific gender. In most cases, deciding on the victim was either due to circumstances (wrong place, wrong time) or the fact that men believe overpowering a woman would be easier than confronting another man. Criminals also sometimes use rape to silence the victim, to hide another crime.
A criminal stealing from a man, for example, might rape the victim in an effort to stop him from reporting the theft. This is done based on the fact that men don’t easily report rape – especially adult men.

The fact that men areexercise of power laid the groundwork for an interest in the fact that men also get raped. This interest was first focused on men in prison.

raped is an issue that is still surrounded by a great deal of silence. Men are, in most cases, more likely than women to become victims of violent crime, with two exceptions: rape and domestic violence. This view of rape as a crime predominantly perpetrated against women has most likely influenced the lack of research on and writing about male rape. Feminist writings about the rape of women as an

For a long time it was generally believed that men who raped other men were all homosexuals. However, research has shown that most rapists who rape men are actually heterosexual, which is in line with feminist writings on rape as a power exercise rather than a sexual act.

Most researchers in the field believe that the number of male rape survivors that report the rape to the police or even look for any kind of help afterwards is very small compared to the actual number of male rapes taking place. The main reasons for rapes not being reported seem to be the response of other people towards the rape survivor – such as expressing disbelief over the fact that a man can be raped at all – and the feelings of shame that this response creates in the survivor. Another reason for under-reporting is the fact that there are still not that many organisations out there that support male rape survivors.This is likely to make them feel as if there is no point in even looking for help. The law in South Africa recognises that both men and women can be raped and the same processes applyequally to men
and women.

Myths and truths about male rape

MYTH: Men are able to protect themselves and can’t be raped.
The truth is that the force used by a rapist to subdue a male victim is often much more violent than that used towards a woman. A loaded pistol remains a threat, whether you are a man or a woman. Manipulation is also often used to control and overpower younger boys and teenagers. The confusion and fear caused by the rapist may mean that the attacker doesn’t need to use any other form of force. If you are a male rape survivor and you are reading this, it means you did something right. To escape with your life is a victory in itself. Never question the actions you took, or did not take, during the rape. You’re alive and that is what matters.

TRUTH: A rapist can overpower a male victim.

MYTH: Only gay men are raped and only gay men rape other men.
The truth is that rape is about power and control, not sexual desire. The rapist uses rape as a weapon to gain control over the victim, regardless of whether the attacker is heterosexual or homosexual, and whether the victim is male or female, heterosexual or homosexual.
TRUTH: Heterosexual men also rape and are raped.

MYTH: Gay men deserve to be raped.
Some people believe that homosexuality is ‘unnatural’ and that it should be punished through an act of heterosexual rape. The truth is that rapists use rape as a weapon to harm and intimidate people who do not live according to the rapist’s own way of life. It is illegal to victimise gay men and lesbians in this way.
TRUTH: No one deserves to be raped.

MYTH: If the victim gets an erection or ejaculates during rape, it means he enjoyed it.
The truth is that erections or ejaculations during rape or sexual abuse are physical responses. They can be a result of extreme stress or of physical contact. The rapist may be aware of this automatic response of your body and use it to further his display of control over you and to discourage you from reporting the crime. It doesn’t mean that you enjoyed what happened – in fact, it could make the entire experience more traumatic for you. Additionally, tablets such as Viagra are used increasingly on the victim in cases of male rape. These tablets cause you to have an erection. Be aware of the serious side effects this could have. An erection that is painful or lasts more than four hours needs immediate medical attention. Another rare but serious side effect of Viagra is a sudden loss of vision. If this happens to you, call your doctor immediately or go to the emergency room of a hospital for evaluation.
TRUTH: The stress of the rape can cause the body to automatically respond with an erection or ejaculation.

MYTH: Heterosexual men who are raped will become homosexual.
The truth is that most homosexual people believe they are born homosexual, just as most heterosexual people believe they are born that way.
TRUTH: Rape cannot change someone’s sexual orientation.

Reactions to male rape

Male rape survivors experience many of the same symptoms as women do. However, one of the greatest differences between male and female rape survivors seems to be the way that other people respond to them. While women are sometimes told the rape was their fault
because of what they were wearing or what they were doing, men are often questioned about their manliness. People ask them questions such as: ‘What kind of man are you to let someone do that to you?’ or ‘Why didn’t you defend yourself?’

The reason for this disbelief could be that society in general has a picture of women and children as victims and men as the strong ones. Men can be the ones who commit crime, but not the victims. Many men who are raped also have this belief. They’ve never thought of the
possibility of being raped. This makes the shock of a rape even greater for a man. All the ideas you had about belonging to the ‘stronger sex’ and therefore being safe, are crushed.This is also likely to make you doubt whether it could really have been rape, and thus prevent you from reporting the crime. This is one of the reasons why so many of the male rapes that occur are never discussed, which then leads people to think that it doesn’t really happen. The silence creates a circle, and the majority of rapists get away without punishment.

As a man, you may have been taught not to show your emotions, since this is considered unmanly by some people.
Many men therefore don’t know how to handle their feelings. It also means that many men never get any kind of counselling. They end up with all the feelings connected to the rape bottled up inside for a long time, with no outlet. They may try to put everything behind them as quickly as possible, believing that they can go on with their lives as if nothing has happened. This may lead to physical symptoms such as illness, headaches and backaches. It also often means that the emotional ‘crash’ is more devastating when it finally does come.
On the other hand, putting off seeking help means that, by the time you actually decide to come for counselling, you’ve given it a lot of thought and tried to resist it for a long time. Your motivation for obtaining help is therefore likely to be quite high. If you haven’t told anybody about the rape, the decision to come for counselling is also totally your own. This could make you feel more vulnerable.
People deal with emotions in their own ways and it is your choice whether you want to speak about it, when, and with whom. Counselling is a way to find out more about recovering from rape and to get support in discovering your own strengths, inner resources and coping
skills. Rape counselling also assists you in managing the criminal justice system processes and procedures you might have to follow.